Word of the Day: Crapulence

When Bootsies Attack

Bootsie = Squirrel
And they are taking over the world one person at a time.

Laundry

Happy Birthday Mom

Merry Christmas!

O Christmas Tree!

Look Mommy An Airplane!

This is not a true event, however, it is dedicated to my friend Taylor, because we all know how much you love airplanes :)

Why I Still Have All My Baby Teeth

I have a dentist appointment next week and it got me thinking about the years when I lost my teeth. To tell you the truth I was afraid of the Toothfairy. In fact, I think I might still be scared of the thought of the toothfairy.  I actually do know that the toothfairy does not exist. However, despite being able to now watch almost any scary movie, I cannot watch "When Darkness Falls" which apparently is not that scary. Basically there is an evil Toothfairy that kills children. I had to pause it right before she entered the first room in the movie (five minutes into the film) and couldn't watch anymore. My heart was pounding too hard. When I was three or four my brother lost his first tooth. We were sharing a room and I insisted, probably with lots of tears, that the tooth be placed in the basement. I did not want the toothfairy in my room.

Then a few years later it was my turn to start losing teeth. I always had trouble getting my teeth out. I would wiggle and wiggle them and twist them, but I never seemed to be able to get them out on my own.

So I went to my Dad for help. And he was always able to get them out with very little pain. Despite this I made a big deal out of the situation because I have an over active imagination (which also fuels my fear of the toothfairy).

 

The happiness I had over losing my tooth soon faded however, because that meant the toothfairy would come looking for my tooth. Hear me out on this argument. Parents assume what their children are envisioning is this:

A nice sweet old lady who loves giving you money. However in reality the toothfairy is a thief, i.e. a crook; a felon. And felons are usually not nice, sweet, old ladies. You may say, "Silly, the toothfairy is not a thief she leaves you money." WRONG! If someone was to break into your house, steal your computer and leave money lying there are they a thief? Yes! If someone was to knock you out and take your kidney and you woke up surrounded by money, would they be considered a thief? Yes, and probably a lot of other things.

The toothfairy is a thief! I don't care if she leaves a shiny quarter, those are my teeth!!! This is how I envision the toothfairy:

 

 

This is why I still have all of my baby teeth. My dad gave me coin collector protective cases to put them in and I have them all in my dresser. Which would probably seem kind of creepy if anyone were to ever find them, but at least I wasn't eaten by the toothfairy.

And my parents were nice enough to still put money under my pillow...and I knew it was them, because there is no way the evil felon of a toothfairy would give me money without obtaining my teeth.

Platypus

What in the world is this creature! Why does it exist? I have no idea and it doesn't help that it's 1 am.

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8 Things I Hated Finding In My Halloween Bucket

Halloween = sugar induced coma!

My brothers and I would get all dressed up for the sole purpose of obtaining as much candy as possible. We lived in a subdivision around a golf course, so we didn't have to travel very far to fill our bags with candy. I was usually a princess or something else really girly.

 

There were a few amazing houses that everyone in the subdivision knew about. One house you had to climb a particularly grueling hill to get to but once there you were rewarded with a King-sized candybar. To have this in my possession was like having a forbidden treasure because my parents would never buy king-sized candy bars. And it was a fast track to a chocolate/sugar induced coma.

Then there was a house that passed out cans of coke. This was also considered a treasure. Liquid sugar = faster coma.

The best house however was the neighbor that lived behind us. His driveway could be entered from a road outside the subdivision. The only way to get to his house from the subdivision was through our backyard. Since we were the only ones who visited him he would give us money and fruit. I love fruit when it comes with cash!

When our buckets were full or more likely when our feet were tired we would head back to the house. We spaced ourselves out in the living room and dumped our candy out to sort through it.

 

Most of the candy were little packages of happiness, however there were some things I dreaded finding in my bucket. I'm sure somewhere in the world people want these things, however, I did not.

1. Candy Corn

About the only time I actually eat candy corn is mindlessly from a bowl on a table at a party or get-together. Then moments later I gag a little and wonder why I just ate it.

2. Cheap Suckers

  

I know! It's hard to imagine that I don't like eating something that tastes like dissolving plastic with a slight sugar flavor. But I don't!

3. Homemade Treats

I'm sure everyone who makes homemade treats are wonderful bakers, however, there were some problems with these treats. 1. More often than not they were rice krispie treats, which I hate. 2. My mom made us throw all homemade treats away, because "we don't know where they came from." 

4. Fangs

Fangs are NOT candy. Also I am a princess, not a vampire. Although I'm sure now a days girls love getting these because of "Twilight." But still if I'm trick-or-treating then I have a costume on. I don't need help.

5. Spider Rings

Spider rings are also NOT candy!

6. Gumdrops

They come in lots of shapes and sizes and names, but generally I don't like these gummy things. They usually are off-brand, bad-tasting, and get stuck in your teeth so you have the taste with you for a long time.

7. Cheap Gum

Unless you are trying to get rid of a loose baby tooth, there is not point to this gum. It causes jaw aches and the flavor lasts about .2 seconds. Even better is when its really old, then it is like chewing on a rock and I have rocks in my yard.

8. Popcorn Balls

You might say "that just looks like a yellow blob." That is exactly how I felt when I found popcorn balls in my bucket.

I'm sure there are many people out there who love all these things and you can go write all about it.