Why I Still Have All My Baby Teeth

I have a dentist appointment next week and it got me thinking about the years when I lost my teeth. To tell you the truth I was afraid of the Toothfairy. In fact, I think I might still be scared of the thought of the toothfairy.  I actually do know that the toothfairy does not exist. However, despite being able to now watch almost any scary movie, I cannot watch "When Darkness Falls" which apparently is not that scary. Basically there is an evil Toothfairy that kills children. I had to pause it right before she entered the first room in the movie (five minutes into the film) and couldn't watch anymore. My heart was pounding too hard. When I was three or four my brother lost his first tooth. We were sharing a room and I insisted, probably with lots of tears, that the tooth be placed in the basement. I did not want the toothfairy in my room.

Then a few years later it was my turn to start losing teeth. I always had trouble getting my teeth out. I would wiggle and wiggle them and twist them, but I never seemed to be able to get them out on my own.

So I went to my Dad for help. And he was always able to get them out with very little pain. Despite this I made a big deal out of the situation because I have an over active imagination (which also fuels my fear of the toothfairy).

 

The happiness I had over losing my tooth soon faded however, because that meant the toothfairy would come looking for my tooth. Hear me out on this argument. Parents assume what their children are envisioning is this:

A nice sweet old lady who loves giving you money. However in reality the toothfairy is a thief, i.e. a crook; a felon. And felons are usually not nice, sweet, old ladies. You may say, "Silly, the toothfairy is not a thief she leaves you money." WRONG! If someone was to break into your house, steal your computer and leave money lying there are they a thief? Yes! If someone was to knock you out and take your kidney and you woke up surrounded by money, would they be considered a thief? Yes, and probably a lot of other things.

The toothfairy is a thief! I don't care if she leaves a shiny quarter, those are my teeth!!! This is how I envision the toothfairy:

 

 

This is why I still have all of my baby teeth. My dad gave me coin collector protective cases to put them in and I have them all in my dresser. Which would probably seem kind of creepy if anyone were to ever find them, but at least I wasn't eaten by the toothfairy.

And my parents were nice enough to still put money under my pillow...and I knew it was them, because there is no way the evil felon of a toothfairy would give me money without obtaining my teeth.